Post by tidequeen on Dec 29, 2013 21:19:02 GMT -5
In the politically charged times we live in, we must express our poorly thought out, cheap michael kors outlet knee jerk opinions through any medium we can. YouTube, blogs, message boards, bumper stickers, t shirts and chew toys.
Hold on. Chew toys? Are you fucking kidding?
No, they are not.
Think cheap snapback hats Bush sucks? Let Rover cheap michael kors outlet have at him. Despise Bin Ladin? Train Spot to urinate sunglass shop on his face. Hate Ahmadinejad for his anti homosexual comments? Laugh as Buster fucks his eyes out. The possibilities of seeking revenge upon your sworn enemies are endless as you vicariously dispatch the ills of the world though a creature whose concept of evil is limited to people not currently holding food.
Gregg Miller is a man with a vision. Sadly, his vision is focused on your pet's testicles or, rather, the lack thereof.
A self professed "neurotic pet owner," Gregg is credited with the creation of the animal kingdom's answer to 44 DD's. Yes, the man invented testicular implants for neutered pets, the sick bastard.
After some research we discovered that humans can get Neuticle implants as well. Strictly for comedic purposes, we decided to find out just what kind of testicles we. uh. someone can have slapped in our. uh. their scrotum. We think the 2.75 inch Neuticles UltraPlus (with realistic firmness!) will look wonderful in our. your.
Ah, fuck it. We're not ashamed to admit that huge balls and no baby making juice sounds like a win win to us.
Hey, remember earlier when we joked about how the doggie thong wearers would be wanting tattoos next? It didn't cheap snapback hats take as long as we thought. We hereby present Petattoos.
We spent countless hours in the Cracked laboratories working closely with Petattoos and noted their effects. We have concluded cheap furla handbags that Petattoos are perhaps the quickest and most effective way to attract a random spin kick to the face from a stranger. There is also a 92 percent chance that the kick will be followed cheap snapback hats by a severe case of dog punting.
If you enjoy reading about things stupid people buy, but wish the products were deadlier, check out our rundown of The 13 Most Irresponsible Self Defense Gadgets Money Can Buy. Then, find out about the surprisingly limited range of a fat man who eats potato chips with cheap nike nfl jersyes china his belly button. And be sure not to miss some killer sex advice from Uncle Terry.